Tuesday, November 22, 2011

h.o.m.e.

"The DR is almost better than the States," Max told a recent visitor. I exhaled. Our first two months here it seemed as though every one of our conversations ended with my offspring questioning our motives.
Me: "You can't drink the water here. It could make you sick."
Me: "You can't take warm baths here, there isn't a water heater. Sometimes you can't take baths at all because the water gets shut off."
Me: "You can't walk around barefoot, there are bugs here that can hurt you."
Max & Zora, often in unison, after every little chat, "Why did you bring us here?!"
'Lil Z has yet to sign on to our move. I hope she just needs a bit more time. And maybe some friends.
Josh seems to be adjusting nicely. He moved often enough as a child for it not to be a total shock to his system.
As for me? It took me over a year to adjust fully to the Yakima Valley when Josh and I married. Another two years to fully adjust to our lives in Woodburn. The first time I moved, in my life, I was 18. I'm not good at this. Recognizing this weakness has got me aching for an answer: Is this home? If home is where the heart is, what happens if your heart is all over the place?

In the moments before I fall asleep, I feel home. I forget about how different everything is. I forget that we're starting over in so many ways. I forget about all the obstacles we have put before ourselves just by moving here. I forget. And I am home.



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